The British Open begins Thursday and I’m all excited and drowsy at the same time. Not that I don’t like golf. The Open being played at Carnoustie this year takes me back to one of the most memorable sports moments I ever witnessed — Jean Van de Velde’s meltdown on the 72nd hole of that course in the 1999 British Open. The guy had a three shot lead going into the final hole, only to triple bogey and lose in a playoff. Tough break because it all pretty much came down to one bad bounce off the grandstand, and he seems like a pretty cool dude.
According to the preview stories we’ve been running in the Sentinel this week, tournament planners have eased up on the the field a little this year and made the course more player friendly. This is bad news. The means they’ll play like professionals. The average golf fan loves watching birdies but I’m a bogey man myself. I know the pros are good, but I like to watch them suffer like I do when I’m stuck in a bunker. I’m a firm believer that golf should be the most difficult activity ever created by man, and I like to see it played that way. Tiger’s fist pump sells golf balls, but it’s much more entertaining to watch him drop to his knees in frustration after failing to save par. Make these guys earn those millions they don’t really deserve. They shouldn’t get to have fun while doing it.
A lot of people don’t see the fun in golf at all, especially when it comes to watching it on TV. It’s been described as the most boring activity created by man. But I actively search the channels for tournaments, and the British Open is one of my favorites. It is incredibly dull to watch someone else slowly take a 7,000 yard walk, but that’s not what’s wonderful about the experience. Watching golf has provided nine of the 10 best naps I’ve ever had, save for that one time I actually managed to get more than 25 consecutive minutes of sleep on a plane. That was the top nap of my life.
I don’t know if it’s the whispering announcers, or the light breeze and swoosh of the club being picked up by the microphones, but my living room couch becomes the most comfortable place in the world when Tiger’s on the tube. The soft, subtly accented baritone of the British Open announcers is especially conducive to getting some shut eye. Give it a try. With any luck you’ll wake up feeling refreshed, just in time to see one of these pros fantastically blow it on the final hole.
